2 under 2

So, being that I'm 21 weeks along today, I am officially starting to freak out about the prospect of have to children under 2 years old. It's not the mechanics of having a newborn. It's the reaction of my oldest that I'm worried about. She is wonderful but SO attached to mommy. It's very sweet and I love it but I don't think she will like the compromise of sharing me with another little person. Ahhhhh!

Advocates.

   I'm really starting to realize that the word "advocate" has become synonymous with "bully". I recently read a post from The Bloggess on how she was getting shit for not wearing orange for anti-bully day and I got to thinking about it. People who crusade on most any issue tend to bully about it. Now I may be generalizing but the internet and it's giving a voice to everyone, really makes this apparent. My favorite example is breastfeeding. Now, I breastfed my daughter and I will breastfeed the baby that's on the way but I don't rant about it. It's great to be a proponent of breastfeeding but don't be a bully.

To wrap up this mini-post, don't bully, do breastfeed, do support things, but don't be an asshole.

Veins and Bleeding

  Let me begin by saying that I have crappy veins.

  I always have, I always will. I'm the person who walks into a lab and announces that I'm a terrible draw. Often, I get the eye-roll. Then they go to draw my blood and either agree with me or tell me that it's not a big deal. More often than not, it's the former. Recently, I had a doctor appointment and had to go to the lab, in the building, for a blood draw. I figured that I would walk over there and do it right then.
  First, they ask me if the doc wants them to do both test on the sheet. "Um, I think so." I mean, why else would they have ordered it and sent me to the lab? So, then I was nervous that I was supposed to fast. So I went back to the doctor and tried to ask. Of course, by now, he's in with another patient. The nurse thinks that I probably should have fasted for this unexpected bloodwork. I go back and report the findings. 

Lab: "You don't have to fast for this test."
Then what's the problem?! 
Me: "Well, then I'll just do it today."

  Naturally, I had to drink a nasty drink and wait an hour. I hadn't officially starved, but I hadn't had lunch that day. I was starving.I told my husband that she was really nice but that I hoped that she could actually draw my blood. 

Somehow I knew that she wouldn't be able to.

  I reminded her that I was a bad draw and she ignored me. Now, it had been ages since my last panel. I have one arm that's particularly bad to offer for a blood draw. Naturally, I forgot which it was and let her try it first. She thought that by poking around and wiggling the needle, that it would produce more blood. Fail. Then, she takes my right arm, pulls her arm back, and rams that god damn needle into my arm. I begin to sob. I'm not a fan of blood draws but I'm by no means a wuss. When she rammed my arm, I had excruciating pain, like electricity, down to my fingertips. She then kept asking me if I was alright and scolded me to never let anyone draw from my left arm again. Facepalm. Really, bitch? Really? You hit a fucking nerve in my arm. You don't get to scold anyone right now. She insisted that I eat a sucker on the way out. This was a month ago, and I have lingering pain and numbness. 

  The moral of the story? Go with your gut. Leave when you have a hunch that your phlebotomist is a fucktard who is more concerned about leaving on time than your well being. Also, blood draws suck. Also, some phlebotmists are amazing and you don't even feel the needle. Also, I'm being whiny now. Whatever.

Baby/Wedding/Whatever Showers

Oh showers. They are amazing if you are the honoree. If you're not, they can either be tolerable or a total pain in the ass.

Notables:
*You arrive, maybe you don't know anyone but the guest-of-honor, who will be occupied. This forces you to make small talk with their cousin, Janie. A belly-dancing, accountant who loves to chat.
*You play the games, which are super lame- but at least it passes the time. *
*You are usually fed pretty well, also a bonus.
*The presents go on for-ev-er. You can only oooh and ahhh at towels/onesies/etc... for about 20 minutes before it loses its luster.
*Sometimes your harboring a secret that you are bursting to tell anyone/everyone/strangers that you just can't tell.
*Sometimes the guest list included your nemesis.Your bitch, ex-coworker, that led to your ultimate leaving of an organization, is in attendance... You're the first 2 non-family members there. She. talks. to. you. for. hours. Now, this is your friend's shower. I can't punch her in the face or scream, "Don't touch my baby!" You have to smile through it... for 5 god damn hours.

Showers. Congrats for your event. Can I go now?

Exaggerations and Annoying Me

Why must everything always be so damn dramatic? I understand that pregnancy and parenting is a big deal, I can relate... BUT I'm so tired of hearing the same repetitious, over-exaggerated, b.s.

I'm aware that this sounds whiny but I don't care.

Here are some of my "favorites":
1. OMG! I have the worst craving for...
* What you actually meant to say is that you have a sweet tooth or feel the need to crave something weird.

2. Oh, my child is cranky from teething!
* No, your child is a child. Therefore they are cranky. This is just like when people talk about their baby being colicky. No, dear, she's tired.

3. I can feel the baby kick! I know I'm only 9 weeks...
*NO. You cannot physically feel movement. I know that you really really really want to but it's not possible. You can be hyper-aware of that precious peanut, regardless. :)

4. My morning sickness, wah wah wah.
* Yea. I had "morning sickness" 3 times a day through my second trimester. I threw up at the same times every day for months. It wasn't really a big deal. Puke and move on.

5. My morning sickness, wah wah wah (2).
* This deserves 2 mentions because I also don't want to hear about your morning sickness, anymore than you want to hear about mine. Talking about puking and what makes you puke is kind of gross, when unprompted... Like, say, on my Facebook newsfeed... Barf.

6. OH. You didn't/did breastfeed...
*First of all, I did (for 13 months). Don't judge me  or anyone else, either way. It's my/our prerogative. Be less sanctimonious. You'll have more friends, less enemies, and you'll live longer.  Maybe you'll even have more sex and become a doctor when you grow up. Mostly, you'll hurt less people's feelings... Unless they ask your opinion. Then be a giant bastard, if you want to.

7.To be continued...

What similar/different things do people say/do that annoy you?
Don't say overuse ellipses...!
Also, I didn't bother to proofread this one. Forgive me if I worte  hte rwnog wrods.

Vaccines the 2nd

Recently, there was a journal published by Dr. K. Talbot and his colleagues at Vanderbilt regarding the flu vaccine. You can view it, for free, here: http://cid.oxfordjournals.org/content/early/2013/02/27/cid.cit124.full.pdf?keytype=ref&ijkey=Xp84ym72BYicJiV

I am wondering if anyone has thoughts for or against this vaccine. Either in light of or despite these findings.

*Personally, I will continue receiving the flu shot. I'm hyper-paranoid of a repeat of the 1918 flu pandemic.*

Guilt & Mourning

I'm feeling overwhelmed with guilt. We lost a family member this week and it's horribly sad. Though, she's been ill for months, suffering for the last couple, and I'm at a loss.

I guess we all grieve in our own way but I'm just so enthralled with my beautiful daughter and her 1st birthday & party this weekend that I'm really searching to find my "sad". I'm not sure if it's because this death was in a matter of "when" and not "if" for so long, that I've grown stoic. Truthfully, I find myself immensely sad that she's going to miss my daughter growing up and that my daughter will never truly know how much she was loved by this, wonderful woman. Those thoughts bring me to tears. But, I mostly feel relieved. I know that she doesn't hurt anymore and that she is finally "okay".

Oh well. Thanks for reading.

Support

I've posted about this previously but I feel it is necessary to revisit the topic.

Why must we compete with one another? Why are we incapable of working together and supporting each other? There are several websites out there for support. You name the topic and there are circles of people that band together for support. <-- Well, that was the original intention. There are communities where people feel the need to be sanctimonious about their ideals. For example, I have a friend who we'll call, Rita*. She called me the other day, nearly in tears, because she was being assaulted for not breastfeeding her first child. I won't go into all of the gory details, but this was not an option for her and it was upsetting to her to not be able to. Instead of banding together, in this instance, as mothers, people chose to attack her for this "decision". 

If you really think about it, as a society, we do this often to our peers. It's one thing to disagree but it's an absolutely different thing to assault those who disagree or make other choices. When did we stop debating/discussing/conversing and start being disrespectful? Stop bullying your peers. I feel sad for our society sometimes.

Vaccination Rant

As usual, I've decided that people are dumb. What's so infuriating is that they don't have to be so dumb. They let idiots sway their decisions. Fucking sheep.

At least this sheep is cute.

Sorry. I'm currently enraged about the hype around not vaccinating your children. 

There are several things that make this unfathomable to me. 

1. I don't know about you but I don't want my kid to get:

• smallpox
• measles
• mumps
• rubella
• fucking polio.
• others

2. The rest of us like herd immunity. This happens when the majority of a group receives a vaccination. Then, if a horrible virus/bacteria spurs up, it will not run amok because of a lack of susceptible hosts. 

3. If you are worried about Autism and its possible link... Why? Where are you getting your information? Is it a credible source? 

I'm going to pause here. Please take a moment to read this: http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/01/05/autism.vaccines/index.html

Wakefield was stripped of his license. He was accused of intentionally skewing results because of an employer. He selected cases that would benefit his agenda. He used no control. Here's a wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Wakefield Seriously, Google him. Plug his name into JSTOR. This man's actions are still imprinted in people's minds. 

If you have concerns with the preservatives in vaccines, opt to break up the shots. Sure, it's more shots but the doses are greatly reduced. Whatever your reasons, I strongly believe that vaccines should be required for children. As an adult, feel free to screw yourself up. You then have a reasonably strong immune system. 

I'm so tired of semi-celebrities waving their flags for causes that they haven't researched. If autism has affected your family, I'm truly sorry, but quit pointing fingers. Vaccines save lives. That's all there is to it.

Even Autism Speaks does not recognize this as information. Please see: http://www.autismspeaks.org/science/policy-statements/information-about-vaccines-and-autism

Whatever your decision, for the love of [insert spiritual religious/whatever figure here], please please please please research it for yourself. The internet and the *gasp* library are resources to be used to educate yourself. Be wary of your sources. Don't believe what you see a "celebrity" just because of their star power. Make sure that they can back their shit up. Educate yourself.

Fun Fact: Did you know that the smallpox virus has been 100% erradicated because of the smallpox vaccine?

Things That I Say Every. Day.

Upon having my daughter, I didn't realize all of the different things that I say on a regular basis. Here are some of my favs:

1. Stop licking the garbage can!
2. No floor licking!
3. What's in your mouth?!*
4. Stop biting my toe!
5. Stop eating my hair!
6. You can't lift your foot if you are standing on it.
7. I'm sorry that I have to take the spoon out of your mouth before it magically has more food on  it.
8. Please don't put mashed potatoes in your nose.
9. No wall licking!
10. Stop eating your board book. 

*Okay, I expected this one BUT I use it so often that it is noteworthy.

What things do you say to your little one that you didn't expect?

Rough... whether you like it or not

Short post today. I just had to point out something.

You know typically when someone references bruising on their thighs, they are talking about injuries that result from the throes of passion... 

Well, mine come from my daughter kicking me in the thighs. 

I guess that you can make the argument that she is a result of conception so, in turn, the bruises are still a result of throes of passion. Hm. Less fun.

Momma Bear

You know what sucks? Everyone else's kids...

My baby is the first to arrive at the location. She runs back and forth with a walker. She is having a great time.

Baby Mood Level: Squealing with happiness

Then, the other kid (henceforth known as kid B) shows up. The other kid is a little older and in a more possessive stage.

Baby Mood Level: REALLY happy. "Another baby?! Yuuuuus!"

It starts well. Kid B offers my girl a toy, which she happily accepts.

Baby Mood Level: Still happy as a pig in shit.

After much playing with smaller toys, my girl moves back to the walker that she had been having such a great time with, previously.

Baby Mood Level: HAPPY! "I love that toy!"

My girl plays with said toy until Kid B spots this. Kid B promptly runs over and knocks my girl over.

Baby Mood Level: So hurt! In hysterics. "What an injustice! How could I be so mistreated?"

My girl decides that she really wants at this toy, or the similar toy and tries again. Same. Results.

Baby Mood Level: So hurt! In hysterics. "What did I do to Kid B?! Mommy!!!!"

Oh, AND my girl is also a sympathetic baby. So, every time Kid B cried, she sobbed. This went on for the better part of 3 hours. The urge to knock over the other kid was insurmountable. I wanted to cry. The other parent is used to their kid knocking others over and didn't do/say much. I, on the other hand, am not used to her being knocked over, repeatedly. I'll have to wear gloves, to hide my mommy claws, the next time.

Babies are Crazy

So my daughter is an early walker. No, this is not a post about how life is harder with a mobile baby. People who feel that way drive me nuts. 

Babies are tiny people --> Most people walk upright/mostly upright --> Babies eventually will walk, even if it's like a drunken sailor.

It's natural progression.

Anywho, early walker apparently means early climbing, also. Let's see, I can't walk straight but maybe I should stand on the pop cases that are in the hallway still. Mom will catch me. Maybe I should just wrap her in bubble wrap. 

Bubble wrap is awesome.

Baby Companies are Stupid

You know what's dumb? The price of baby supplies. We're in baby-proofing mode... I didn't think it was going to be that bad. I picked up a kit before the baby was born for around $20. It has a doorknob cover, a million electrical outlet covers, those crappy safety latches for the cabinets, etc. Of those items, the only one that is really useful is the electrical outlets covers. I am shopping for baby gates, as we speak. I have to buy one for the top of the stairs and those of you who know about them, know that they are absurdly expensive. I won't name brands, but we'll put them in the ballpark of $70-$120. Lame.

Anyone have any DIY recommendations?

Ankles are stupid

So, for the last year or so (around pregnancy/birth time), I've been exercising. Really starting to get into an actual jog/run pace. Then my ankle happened.

Well, my ankle actually happened at birth and then its initial injury occurred in 2005. Apparently, continuous activity makes a previously injured ankle unhappy.

How the hell do I get decent cardio in without use of my left foot? UGH.

So now I've been hobbled. I'm actively trying not to overeat or I will get super fat. But that's not the worst of it.

My kidneys are jealous of all of this attention that my ankle is getting. You know how they say that to a child, any attention is good attention? Well, my kidneys are fucking 2 year olds.

I have a problem with kidney stones and I'm having a flare up.

My kidneys are stupid, too.


On a side note: I love Under Armour. It was 10 degrees out and I felt like I was running in the spring. UA, you are awesome.
. 

Shame on Me

I've been neglecting my blog! I apologize.


 I need to rant about the local sheep...


So, I'm sure most of you are aware of the nonsense of the arsenic content in apple juice. It's minuscule & obviously a naturally occurring heavy metal. I recently read an article about the up & coming release of arsenic free apple juice. Let's rejoice! IDK about the rest of you but I've drank a good deal of apple juice throughout my life & I don't have an adverse arsenic poisoning. Mostly my problem is what other people have to say about it. One of the local commentators said "If only people would just buy organic- they would get the point!".... What in the hell does organic really have to do with arsenic. It's not like the arsenic is coming from pesticides and/or added hormones. Read a book people.


Hugs & Kisses,
Amy

Names... WHY?!

Stasi. This is apparently pronounced "Stacy". WTF? Now, being pregnant myself, I understand not wanting to name your child the same thing as your friends/fam. There are a billion names out there that do not look like you had quit going to school at 6 years old. Maybe I'm being overly traditional but, what is wrong with those? You are still using a "traditional" name, you are just making it look dumb (e.g. Alycya. I wish I had made that one up).

That is all.

Sincerely,
Aymie... Barf. J/K
 ****Amy****

Grammar

It's only fitting for me to open my blog with a post about the atrocious grammar & spelling that I encounter on a day to day basis. (<--- runon? IDK)

Admittedly, I may be guilty of the occasional grammatical error but, I'm choosing to rant anyway...

Homophones: a word that is pronounced the same as another word, but differs in meaning. Why does everyone suck at these now? I'm pretty sure that you learn a great deal of these in the early years of education.
            
    Here is a list of the ones that especially piss me off:

         *To is a preposition used for expressing direction, motion, movement, contact, or a point.
         *Too is an adverb used to express an excessive extent/amount or in addition to.
         *Two is a noun and a number.

          *Here is a location
          *Hear is what your ears do

         *Wear is what you do to clothes
         *Where is also a reference to a location (Another note... Why is everyone all of a
          sudden having a problem with the "h" in where?! Were is the past subjective of to be. Damn.)

      

I'll stop there.

 Please remember that most word processors have grammar checks now...

Don't ignore squiggly lines!

Image from:

http://wisdomsgait.blogspot.com/2010/10/pompous-mr-squiggly-underline.html