Exaggerations and Annoying Me

Why must everything always be so damn dramatic? I understand that pregnancy and parenting is a big deal, I can relate... BUT I'm so tired of hearing the same repetitious, over-exaggerated, b.s.

I'm aware that this sounds whiny but I don't care.

Here are some of my "favorites":
1. OMG! I have the worst craving for...
* What you actually meant to say is that you have a sweet tooth or feel the need to crave something weird.

2. Oh, my child is cranky from teething!
* No, your child is a child. Therefore they are cranky. This is just like when people talk about their baby being colicky. No, dear, she's tired.

3. I can feel the baby kick! I know I'm only 9 weeks...
*NO. You cannot physically feel movement. I know that you really really really want to but it's not possible. You can be hyper-aware of that precious peanut, regardless. :)

4. My morning sickness, wah wah wah.
* Yea. I had "morning sickness" 3 times a day through my second trimester. I threw up at the same times every day for months. It wasn't really a big deal. Puke and move on.

5. My morning sickness, wah wah wah (2).
* This deserves 2 mentions because I also don't want to hear about your morning sickness, anymore than you want to hear about mine. Talking about puking and what makes you puke is kind of gross, when unprompted... Like, say, on my Facebook newsfeed... Barf.

6. OH. You didn't/did breastfeed...
*First of all, I did (for 13 months). Don't judge me  or anyone else, either way. It's my/our prerogative. Be less sanctimonious. You'll have more friends, less enemies, and you'll live longer.  Maybe you'll even have more sex and become a doctor when you grow up. Mostly, you'll hurt less people's feelings... Unless they ask your opinion. Then be a giant bastard, if you want to.

7.To be continued...

What similar/different things do people say/do that annoy you?
Don't say overuse ellipses...!
Also, I didn't bother to proofread this one. Forgive me if I worte  hte rwnog wrods.

Things That I Say Every. Day.

Upon having my daughter, I didn't realize all of the different things that I say on a regular basis. Here are some of my favs:

1. Stop licking the garbage can!
2. No floor licking!
3. What's in your mouth?!*
4. Stop biting my toe!
5. Stop eating my hair!
6. You can't lift your foot if you are standing on it.
7. I'm sorry that I have to take the spoon out of your mouth before it magically has more food on  it.
8. Please don't put mashed potatoes in your nose.
9. No wall licking!
10. Stop eating your board book. 

*Okay, I expected this one BUT I use it so often that it is noteworthy.

What things do you say to your little one that you didn't expect?