Baby/Wedding/Whatever Showers

Oh showers. They are amazing if you are the honoree. If you're not, they can either be tolerable or a total pain in the ass.

*You arrive, maybe you don't know anyone but the guest-of-honor, who will be occupied. This forces you to make small talk with their cousin, Janie. A belly-dancing, accountant who loves to chat.
*You play the games, which are super lame- but at least it passes the time. *
*You are usually fed pretty well, also a bonus.
*The presents go on for-ev-er. You can only oooh and ahhh at towels/onesies/etc... for about 20 minutes before it loses its luster.
*Sometimes your harboring a secret that you are bursting to tell anyone/everyone/strangers that you just can't tell.
*Sometimes the guest list included your nemesis.Your bitch, ex-coworker, that led to your ultimate leaving of an organization, is in attendance... You're the first 2 non-family members there. She. talks. to. you. for. hours. Now, this is your friend's shower. I can't punch her in the face or scream, "Don't touch my baby!" You have to smile through it... for 5 god damn hours.

Showers. Congrats for your event. Can I go now?

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